The Lighter Path
My heart sank as I listened to author Greg McKeown describe his young daughter Eve's sudden neurological symptoms. A once thriving, joyful, and vibrant teenager suddenly struggled to write her name. At first, the slide seemed like normal teenager behavior. She started talking less, disconnected from her family, and generally seemed less vivacious. It wasn't long before it was clear that Eve's behavior wasn't a teenage phase but something far more severe.
A few years ago, I would have found this story sad. But today, as the father of a young daughter, it's horrifying. A tragic situation made even worse; doctors couldn't explain Eve's freefall, despite running test after test. I tried to put myself in Mr. McKeown's position and think about how I would react, but I have trouble even imagining such a nightmarish scenario. No diagnosis. No treatment. The world must have felt like it was spinning off its axis.
As McKeown described how he and his family coped with this challenging situation, I couldn't help but feel like he handled it far better than I could. Each day he read a chapter about cultivating a spirit of optimism and happiness in a book he revisited, a sort of therapy to resist the urge "to fall into very unproductive emotions and habits."
We cannot control everything. In the case of Eve's illness, Greg could have easily slipped into depression and exhaustion by "trying to solve the problem" with brute force. He could have chosen to focus every fiber of his mental and physical energy on Eve's illness. And while tempting, this path might've left a trail of destruction in its wake, a defeated marriage, and destroyed family culture, with Eve no better for it.
There was another option available; one Greg described as "the lighter path." This path was one of hope, one where "good things are to come." Being optimistic amid the usual pessimistic distractions is tough enough, but remaining hopeful while your daughter mightily struggles is inspiring. This path still has its dark spots, to be sure, but it is lighter still than others.
If Greg could avoid the "why us" mentality of a mysterious ailment and remain grateful during a time of immense stress and uncertainty, there is undoubtedly a lesson.
When something beyond our control infiltrates our life, we have options. It may not feel like it, but they exist. It's easy to choose the heavier path, especially when those around you are shutting down.
We can succumb to pessimism and allow an empty shell to consume us, reducing our humanity to a joyless paralysis, or we can choose the lighter path.
We can throw our hearts and souls at a problem that we can't solve, eventually rendering them inoperable, or realize our limitations and make the best of our circumstances.
We can exacerbate the situation by inventing new problems, distracting ourselves from the initial crisis but ultimately making things even worse. Or we can control the controllable.
The lighter path is where we find humor where possible and embrace the small joys. Ultimately, Eve recovered. Greg predicted "she will find what is lost" — he was right. Eve returned to an intact family, strengthened by their response to adversity.
I'm grateful to Greg McKeown for sharing a personal story and demonstrating the power of optimism during unimaginable circumstances.
